"God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pain and contradictions."

and if life is filled with pains and contradictions, why don't we learn so much more?
maybe because we don't give them enough attention or importance..
maybe because we don't want to think them over..
maybe because we're just too afraid to find some things that might disturb us (at least, I am)..
maybe because we don't have the time or the need to reflect about contradictions..
maybe because we feel the urge to belong to a world where none of this has any possible existence..
maybe because others just influence us not to think about them (and interpersonal influence has a lot of power, even if we're not aware of it)..
maybe because the world has surrounded us in a dream land of search for everything else besides reflection..
maybe because no one cares..

and ideas are always present and we like them and try to preserve the best ones..
and when contradictions or pains are longing in our mind, we just try to forget them and think of something else..
but maybe, just maybe, we could use and abuse them, putting them in the best light possible for any of us..
then maybe, just maybe, we could know much much more..
even if god is not here..